Game Reviews Part One

My Game Reviews

Game	Platform	Review	Comments
10,000,000	PC	Bad	Essentially a tile match game with a dungeon crawler theme. Boring, predictable, mobile-focused mess.
12 Labors of Hercules II: The Cretan Bull	PC	Meh	Repetitive gameplay reminiscent of mobile games. It's at least somewhat interesting, however.
1982	PC	Good	A fun, fairly decent retro-themed shooter.
20XX	PC	Bad	A poor attempt to make a Rockman (Megaman) clone that fails in every way.
720°	Arcade	Bad	Clumsy controls and glitchy gameplay make this one just for skaters.
8-bit Adventure Anthology: Volume 1	PC	Good	Contains three classic adventure games from the NES era that have no silly new updates or anything.
99 Levels To Hell	PC	Good	Reminds me of old Amiga/DOS era platformers. Very good.
AaAaAA!!! - A reckless Disregard for Gravity	PC	Good	Simple but fun falling game.
AaaaaAAaaaAAAaaAAAAaAAAA!!! for the Awesome	PC	Good	More of the same AaAaAA!!! awesome falling action with more stuff.
Adventure	Atari VCS	Good	Proto-action adventure game that has you killing duck-looking dragons with a pixelated sword. Fun.
Akalabeth	PC	Meh	The proto-Ultima RPG that really doesn't quite have the fun or engagement of any of the Ultima games.
Among Us	PC	Bad	Sus game that is boring and trivial if people actually knew how to pay attention and work together.
And Yet It Moves	PC	Bad	And Yet It's Bad. Poor gameplay and controls make this slog of a game even worse.
Animal Crossing	Gamecube	Meh	Entertaining in small bursts but incredibly dull over the long run, the only real fun part of the game is playing the NES games hidden in the game.
Archon	Commodore 64	Good	Chess + actually fighting for a spot instead of watching pre-determined combat in Battle Chess makes a very good game.
Archon Classic	PC	Meh	Almost like Archon but has enough strange, un-fun additions to make it not as good as playing the original.
Baby Pac-Man	Arcade	Good	Wish I could play this awesome pinball/videogame fusion again. Sigh.
Balatro	PC	Good	Poker-style single player card game with a huge twist. Addicting and fun.
Baldur's Gate	PC	Meh	The beginnings of Western RPGs becoming essentially huge story-heavy JRPG-like snoozefests.
Bard's Tale (original)	Commodore 64	Good	Fantastic city/dungeon crawler games that RPGs should be, not the Final Fantasy story + grindfest games.
Basement Collection, The	PC	Meh	A couple of interesting games are contained in this collection but is mostly just half-baked Flash junk.
Batman: Arkham Asylum	PC	Good	Despite having a ton of story bogging it down, the beautiful, fluid combat done with near-perfection and the environments you have to go through make it a very good game.
Batman: Arkham City	PC	Meh	While having the same fluid combat system as Asylum, the game just seems to go through the motions unlike its well-presented predecessor.
Beatles Rock Band, The	Wii	Good	Play along with some of the best music ever made on this planet on a plastic guitar or fake drums.
Bejeweled 3	PC	Good	The best Bejeweled game. No ads, no paid content from the mobile side, tons of modes and challenges.
Binding of Isaac, The	PC	Good	The best Binding of Isaac game that knows throwing everything including the kitchen sink in a game is a bad idea.
Binding of Isaac: Rebirth, The	PC	Meh	Expansions got worse and worse and now the game is just putrid. Some fun to be had but removing all expansions is best.
Bioshock	PC	Bad	A frustratingly bad, poorly executed fancy FPS with a pretentious whocares story. I do admit the setting is unique and pretty cool, but its gameplay drags it down.
Black Widow: Recharged	PC	Good	I didn't play a lot of the original game but this one keeps the interest and fun turned up to a nice level just like essentially all of the Recharged series.
Blake Stone: Aliens of Gold	PC	Good	A forgotten FPS gem. Must play.
Blake Stone: Planet Strike	PC	Good	More of the same from Blake Stone. Another must play.
Blood	DOS	Good	Incredibly difficult (ACTUALLY difficult, not modern "artificial difficulty"), addicting, brutal, and fun FPS. I live... again.
Borderlands	PC	Good	You know a game understands how story should work when the majority of it is in the background while it lets you keep playing. Tons of guns and fun and the best in the series.
Borderlands 2	PC	Good	More of the fun and (mostly) uninterrupted gameplay of the original with new environments and characters. Not quite as engaging as the original but still a load of fun.
Borderlands: The Pre-Sequel	PC	Bad	Every single gameplay positive in the original Borderlands game is turned into a negative here with frustrating gameplay elements and other major issues.
Braid	PC	Bad	While it starts out as an interesting time manpulation puzzle game, it quickly descends into a pretentious, unfathomable "how does this even work" mess with terrible design.
Brotato	PC	Good	A very simple run and gun game that is very addicting, with tons of cool powerups and weapons against the forces that oppose you.
Brutal Legend	PC	Meh	Too much story and mediocre gameplay drag this one down. There's still some fun to be had here and there and the music is good.
Bubble Bobble	NES	Good	An absolutely fun game where you pop all your enemies. In bubbles. Bobble. Yeah.
Call of Juarez Gunslinger	PC	Bad	Story-heavy game with bad gameplay and eye-burning shiny graphics you can't turn off no matter how low on the graphics sliders you set it. Horrible.
Castlevania	NES	Good	I can't imagine anyone not liking this classic platformer. Even as hard as it is, you feel responsible for your poor play and are motivated to play even more. Classic.
Castlevania/Castlevania: Legacy of Darkness	Nintendo 64	Bad	The Nintendo 64 games. 3d controls and gameplay is laughably horrible and should never have been attempted.
Castlevania Bloodlines	Genesis	Good	Great Genesis title with two characters to play through a fun set of levels. A bit easier than most Castlevanias, though.
Castlevania Dracula X	Super Nintendo	Meh	A game that tries to reimagine Rondo of Blood for the SNES and really falls short. Still pretty fun.
Castlevania II: Belmont's Revenge	Gameboy	Meh	Controls are stiff and gameplay isn't that great. The Gameboy's limitations hurt this game.
Castlevania II: Simon's Quest	NES	Good	Underrated and underappreciated classic that proves people don't read instruction manuals when they complain about it.
Castlevania III: Dracula's Curse	NES	Good	Fantastic multi-character, branching game that challenges you with actual (not modern artificial) difficulty.
Castlevania: Symphony of the Night	Playstation	Great	One of the best games ever released, and it's a 2d game on the Playstation. Take that, 3d trends.
Castlevania: Lament of Innocence	Playstation 2	Bad	What is this trash? Bad controls and awkward, hard to find elements that are required to proceed make this game absolute garbage.
Castlevania: Rondo of Blood	PC-CD	Good	A very good and difficult outing for the PC-CD.
Castlevania: The Adventure	Gameboy	Meh	Controls are stiff and gameplay isn't that great. The Gameboy's limitations hurt this game.
Cave Story	PC	Meh	Too much story and some really frustrating artificial difficulty sections make what should have been a good retro game into a bad one. Also, the remake ("Plus") is even worse (bad controls and laughable translation).
Celeste	PC	Bad	Yet another one of these spike-dodger platforming pain in the butt artifiical difficulty games that only masochists like playing. Nice premise, bad execution.
Centipede	Arcade	Good	Best with the trackball but emulating with a mouse works well. Simple, fun, and addicting.
Centipede: Recharged	PC	Meh	A decent re-imagining with some mobile trappings and strange gameplay choices that still manages to be pretty good.
ChuChu Rocket	Dreamcast	Good	Fun puzzle game about herding mice into spaceships. You heard me.
Cities: Skylines	PC	Bad	Is it that hard to make a clone of SimCity that doesn't have horribly frustrating controls just to place items on a map? Seriously, how was this popular?
ClusterTruck	PC	Meh	Pretty fun truck hopping game with the occasional frustrating control and area that drags it down a bit.
Columns	Genesis	Good	Better than Tetris. Requires more forethought and skill than Tetris which is just a twitch game.
Command & Conquer	DOS	Good	Back when RTS was new, fresh, and not full of the exact same game reimagined over and over and thus was still fun.
Commander Keen (series)	DOS	Good	DOS didn't need Mario to have an incredibly fun platformer game.
Counter-Strike (series)	PC	Bad	Too-realistic war simulator where you can't even tell one team from the other at a glance like good games do.
Crash Bandicoot (series)	Playstation	Meh	Limiting the movement and (mostly) locking the camera was a big improvement over other garbage 3d platformers, but it still had issues with depth and controls that continues to prove 3d was a bad idea for platformers.
Crazy Taxi	Dreamcast	Good	Drive around, take complaining passengers to their destinations, enjoy the solid controls and great music. Very good game.
Cruis'n USA	Arcade	Meh	Not the best driving game as it is a bit repetitive and bland with no real skill involved, but can still be a fun play here and there.
Crypt of the NecroDancer	PC	Bad	Dungeon crawler based on rhythm game trappings that makes the game incredibly frustrating and unplayable.
Crysis	PC	Meh	It's a story-based FPS with semi-realistic elements to a point but the open maps concept and powerups make it pretty fun.
Cyberball / Cyberball 2072	Arcade	Good	American football as it should be -- no humans to break their bones and get concussions. Simplified and fun.