Random thoughts and ideas
These are just some random (mostly silly) writing that do not fit under any other category.
Once In Your Life You Find Her
The Baffling Way We Pronounce Numbers
Amy Goes Outside
Sometimes you just have to take a walk and see the world outside of your front door.
At least Amy believed that until she was attacked and nearly killed by an evil chicken just outside of her front door.
Amy never went outside again.
A New Dangerous Condition
"Now open your mouth and I'll put you under," the anesthesiologist said, with the doctor waiting in the wings, rolling his eyes at my stupidity.
This was the sixth contratorquelingual operation he had done this week. As I felt myself slip into unconsciousness in the operating room at Burpsuckle County Hospital, I made a solemn promise to myself never try to say "the sixth sick Sheikh's sixth sheep's sick" ever again.
Cat Revelation
The cat discovered that it knew the secret to space and time and the meaning of life. This revelation was wasted on the fact that it was a cat, and all it could say was "meow."
Cold Weather Bad
There's a certain sort of sadness that settles into one's heart when the weather changes. The bitterness of the air, the bite of the wind; it all tears into one's body as any attacker would do, not caring about the damage done to the flesh and the body within. It changes a person, creates an ache arguably as agonizing as any real blade can do, leaves a gaping wound, but not one that seeps blood. It seeps the very soul, the essence of the person out into the world around and the wind blows it away, leaving a shivering husk watching the newly dimmed world with its new earlier time of darkness siphon all happiness and hope away. It will not be mended until the warmth of spring settles in and sutures the wounds and heals the scars.
Patricia's Birthday
Patricia woke up and realized that every other person on Earth was dead. This is going to be the best birthday ever, Patricia thought.
Rebecca Falls In Love
Rebecca began to fall in love with the man stalking her through the woods that night. She admired his rebellious nature, his wild hair, and that certain quality of his voice when he screamed, “I’M GOING TO KILL YOU, REBECCA!”
Shirley and the Mashed Potatoes
The pile of mashed potatoes mocked Shirley, but no one cared. Shirley deserved it.
The Banana
Craig knew the banana was watching his every move, but he couldn’t prove it.