Game Reviews Part Three

My Game Reviews

# - C | D - G | H - M | N - Q | R - T | U - Z

Game	Platform	Review	Comments
Half-Life	PC	Bad	One of the first story FPS games that absolutely ruined the genre. Poorly implemented gameplay and laughable "jump puzzle" final few levels.
Half-Life 2	PC	Bad	Even more of HL's style over substance garbage that doubles down on bad gameplay with poorly implemented physics puzzles and tedious vehicle sections.
Half-Life 2: Deathmatch	PC	Bad	Something probably added as an afterthought and not worth even playing.
Half-Life 2: Episode One	PC	Bad	A short-ish snipped of even more dull HL "gameplay" to advance its brain-dead story.
Half-Life 2: Episode Two	PC	Bad	Even more HL who-cares story with absolutely nothing new except a never resolved cliff hanger ending because Valve can't count to 3.
Half-Life 2: Lost Coast	PC	Bad	A "lost episode" of HL, its only saving grace is that it's over quickly.
Half-Life: Blue Shift	PC	Bad	Half-Life from the viewpoint of a security guy. Oh good, I don't care. Same story focused "game" with bad gameplay.
Half-Life: Opposing Force	PC	Bad	Did they think that if they threw enough at the wall, something would stick? HL from the point of view of a militzzzzzzzz. Wake me when HL has good gameplay.
Halo: Combat Evolved	PC	Bad	A mind-numbing, story-heavy shooter with each level having about three corridors to travel down. With Half-Life, it's the decline of the FPS genre.
Hatsune Miku: Project Diva 2nd	PSP	Good	Press buttons along with some unbelievably catchy J-pop tunes sung by computers that have cute characters representing them. Pretty addicting.
Heretic: Shadow of the Serpent Riders	DOS	Great	A medieval reskin of Doom, essentially, but that doesn't keep it from being incredible and having the most satisfying weapon in all of FPS (Gauntlets of the Necromancer).
Hexen: Beyond Heretic/Deathkings of the Dark Citadel	DOS	Good	Not quite on the level of Heretic, the hub world mechanic can be a little irritating at times, but the gameplay is still just as solid as ever.
Hexen II	PC	Good	Hexen as seen through the lens of the Quake engine rather than the Doom engine, it's still incredibly fun and varied.
Hotline Miami	PC	Bad	Laughably bad controls, repetitive "find the right path" Dragon's Lair-like gameplay, and ear-splitting music make me wonder why this was so well receieved.
HyperRogue	PC	Good	A roguelight with the gimmick that you are moving around on a 3d-ish sphere with hexa/heptagons and fighting a mob of enemies to survive. Very cool.
Impossible Mission	Commodore 64	Good	Search for puzzle pieces to put together the key to the big bad's room while avoiding robots in a randomly generated maze of rooms. Incredibly innovative.
Inside a Star-Filled Sky	PC	Good	A trippy little game going from large to small and maybe even back again to defeat enemies.
Intelligent Qube	Playstation	Good	A rare gem for the PSX where you destroy advancing cubes ("Qubes") to survive in this puzzle game.
Ion Fury	PC	Meh	A nice retro shooter that is unfortunately bogged down by some irritating gameplay issues. Still fun and can be played in eDuke32.
Jet Set Radio	Dreamcast	Bad	Poor controls and gameplay drag this thing down to such a low place that the only reason I can think of for its success is appealing to people who dream of defacing public property.
Jill of the Jungle (series)	DOS	Good	Very good platformer that proves consoles weren't the only place to get good platformer games.
Joust	Arcade	Good	Wear your button finger out flapping your ostrich (yep) all over the board to smash down on top of enemies, and collect... their eggs? Okay. Still an amazing game.
Jr. Pac-Man	Arcade	Good	Not seeing all of the maze is problematic because you can't plan your routes as well, but probably part of the point of this incredibly difficult version of Pac-Man. Fun.
Katamari Damacy	Playstation 2	Good	One of the only two reasons to own a PS2 back then, honestly. Such a fun and innovative -- and addicting game. The other reason is We Love Katamari, oddly. But now both are on PC and just as good. So take that, PS2.
Kerbal Space Program	PC	Bad	Game is literally for rocket scientists. No matter how much instruction you get from the game, it's not going to help you. Might as well go build a real rocket, which is just as difficult.
Killer Instinct	Arcade	Meh	A dial-a-combo fighting game with great sound and music and graphics and a nice combo break mechanic but really comes up short on depth and gameplay. Can still be fun to play.
Killer Instinct 2	Arcade	Meh	More of the same from Killer Instinct with a small graphical upgrade and more characters, but still has the same dial-a-combo system (even with the combo break mechanic) and lack of depth.
Killing Floor	PC	Meh	Tries so hard to be Left 4 Dead but comes up very short. It's still entertaining in short bursts.
Klax	Arcade	Good	Very good puzzle game where you catch advancing tiles and organize them in a well by color or throw them back to delay their approach.
Last Call BBS	PC	Good	Some interesting puzzle games available on a simulation of old dial-up BBS.
Left 4 Dead	PC	Meh	The original version was a bit dark even when brightness was dialed up, and pushing through the horde seemed a bit more unfair compared to its sequel. Given its sequel has all the levels of this one now, this really isn't a necessary game....
Left 4 Dead 2	PC	Good	Improves on the original in every way as well as having its missions. Extremely fun especially in co-op with friends... if I had friends.
Legend of Zelda, The	NES	Great	The absolute classic with no overarching story, great control, great gameplay, fun exploration, and a second quest to make things even better. Near perfection.
Legend of Zelda, The: A Link to the Past	Super Nintendo	Good	Too much story and some irritating sections, it's still a solid enough game that skirts the "meh" rating by just a bit.
Legend of Zelda, The: Link's Awakening	Gameboy	Meh	Pushes hard on the story and environmental aspect of Zelda and forces a lot of annoying and problematic gameplay.
Legend of Zelda, The: Ocarina of Time	Nintendo 64	Bad	Just like so many franchises, ruined by annoying 3d which creates major control and perspective issues, as well as having the growing problem of way too much story.
Legend of Zelda, The: Majora's Mask	Nintendo 64	Bad	Basically a cash grab rushed out after the "success" of Ocarina, forgoes any sense of exploration for an annoying time jump gimmick as well as the story and control issues from Ocarina.
Legend of Zelda, The: Wind Waker	Gamecube	Meh	Still has many of the 3d game and story issues from Ocarina but at the very least brings back a nice sense of exploration in an open, wide world.
Lisa	PC	Bad	A pretentious "RPG" with laughable (and way too much) dialog and overly simplistic gameplay.
Loaded	Saturn	Meh	Clunky gameplay and having way too many nooks and crannies to explore to progress make this something that should have been good but is dragged down to a mediocre game that at least has some enjoyment at points.
Lord of the Rings Online, The	PC	Good	A fun, open MMO world that is a love letter to Tolkien fans everywhere. A lot of pay to unlock content that can fortunately be unlocked using in-game achievement points.
Magician Lord	Arcade	Good	Action/platformer where a wizard goes up against all sorts of strange monsters and shapeshifts into other things. Very good and fun.
Magicka	PC	Bad	An incredibly confusing and irritating magic mechanic that tanks the already frustrating controls and gameplay.
Mappy	Arcade	Good	Cats chase a mouse policeman recovering stolen items in a house full of trampolines and doors. Very fun and unique arcade game.
Marathon (series)	PC	Bad	Proto-Halo garbage with the same garbage map design, boring weapons, uninteresting enemies, and awkward gameplay.
Mario Bros.	Arcade	Good	Nope, not Super Mario Bros., the one where you have to flip over sewer critters and kick them off the board. A lot of fun and gets really challenging.
Mario Kart 64	Nintendo 64	Good	One of the few playable Nintendo 64 games not harmed by its laughable controller and a lot of fun to play.
Mario Kart: Double Dash!!	Gamecube	Good	Almost as good as the Nintendo 64 version with a few new tricks and cool tracks.
Marvel vs. Capcom: Clash of Super Heroes	Arcade	Good	A very solid fighting game bringing together Marvel and Capcom with excellent fighting mechanics.
Marvel vs. Capcom 2: New Age of Heroes	Arcade	Good	The best of the Vs. series of Capcom fighters to me with a great combo system and tons of characters in a sleek, well-done game.
Master Levels for DOOM II	DOS	Good	A sampler of user-made levels for Doom II presented one level at a time. Would have been nice to put all together in one episode, but it's still fun to play.
Master of Orion	DOS	Good	It's not the perfection that MOO2 is, but it's still really good. But the question is, why play this when MOO2 is so much better?
Master of Orion 2	DOS	Great	Let me just sit down to this incredibly detailed 4X game and just play for a little while and oops, now it's next week, where has the time gone?
Mega Man	NES	Good	The original and still incredibly fun and (genuinely) difficult.
Mega Man 2	NES	Good	The best Rockman / Megaman game. By far. No gimmicky movesets, no crazy robot masters, top tier music, and a good challenge. This is the one to play.
Mega Man 3	NES	Good	Still top tier Rockman / Megaman that still doesn't use gimmicks because it ran out of ideas like the later games.
Mega Man 4	NES	Meh	The point where the series started to go downhill because of gimmicks and not as well designed levels and enemies.
Mega Man X	Super Nintendo	Bad	Part of the SNES pre-mid 90s gameplay skid of games with annoying story and gimmicks outshining the gameplay. Frustrating, dull, and not worth the Mega Man name.
Metal Gear	NES	Bad	Stealth/action/something game with irritating controls and gameplay.
Metal Gear Solid	Playstation	Bad	Bad controls, bad and really annoying gameplay, and an incredibly pretentious and overdone story that should have just been a movie. Laughably bad.
Metal Slug (series)	Arcade	Good	Side scrolling shooters with incredible gameplay, visuals, levels, enemies, bosses, etc, etc, etc.
Metroid	NES	Meh	Technically a good game but really has too much awkward gameplay and controls to make it really great. Worth playing once but that’s about it.
Metroid II: Return of Samus	Gameboy	Good	A much better game than Metroid squeezed into the tiny Gameboy. A really fun experience.
Metroid Prime	Gamecube	Bad	Essentially a console FPS with the typical bad gamepad FPS controls. Even a (glitchy) lockon doesn't help.
Millipede	Arcade	Good	A sequel to Centipede with more, more, more. Frantic, fun, addictive gameplay.
Minecraft	PC	Meh	Don't let the "meh" fool you, this is still technically a good game with tons of options and an infinite sandbox that is fun to play in. It's just that it's never fascinated *me* enough to play it more than a little bit, so while I still think it's a good game, it's just not my thing.
Mirror's Edge	PC	Bad	Bad controls and overly linear, story-based gameplay makes this not even one bit of fun.
Missile Command	Arcade	Good	Yep, it's the 80s on full display with everyone afraid of nuclear annihilation. At least in this fun (as much fun as preventing nuclear death can be) game, you feel like you're helping...
Missile Command: Recharged	PC	Good	Basically a mobile game re-imagining of Missile Command, except it's actually very good.
Monument Valley	PC	Meh	A decent puzzler dragged down by a few odd issues with perspective not looking right (given its perspective-based gimmick) and tons of whocares "story".
Mortal Kombat	Arcade	Good	The original MK that still, despite its simplicity, delivers a lot of visceral fun even with its admittedly stiff gameplay.
Mortal Kombat II	Arcade	Good	A great evolution of the original MK with more finishing moves, secrets, and better character movesets.
Mortal Kombat 3	Arcade	Meh	Still a fun game but a regression from the superior MK2 with poor, laughable finishers and poorly designed new characters.
Mortal Kombat 4	Arcade	Meh	Surprisingly holding on to a lot of the same gameplay with a transition to 3d (take THAT, Street Fighter), it's still not nearly as well executed as the superior MK2.
Mortal Kombat Deadly Alliance	XBox	Bad	Stiff controls, bland characters, and not very smooth gameplay, even by MK standards.
Mothergunship	PC	Meh	Pretty good controls and gameplay bogged down by a frustrating "build your gun" mechanic, repetitive gameplay, and some glitchy gameplay arenas.
Mountain	PC	Meh	You... watch a mountain grow and interact with a few things. Excitement?
Ms. Pac-Man	Arcade	Great	A near perfect exection of the maze chase game with actual challenge (no patterns to cheat with like the original) and changing mazes.
Murder By Numbers	PC	Bad	A laughably bad interactive novel that gives you the chance to play Picross occasionally to advance the plot. The Picross puzzles aren't that hard and the rest is just boring.